Seventeen years and a handful of bad experiences with guys later, I started to wonder what went wrong. The answer I eventually came up with wasn't that I had some personal defect, but rather that my expectations had been set to an unattainable level, causing me to become attached to people and moments that weren't exactly what they seemed.This was the result of the fact that I suffered from a habit of wanting what I couldn't have, because it was exciting, and because I never wanted to settle for what was “easy.”What's worse, I was always attracted to stereotypical “assholes.” But, I wanted a “fairytale” so badly, I would accept and manipulate moments and people to fit into what could be “my fairytale.”How did I come to this conclusion?However, I am keeping calm and carrying on as best as I am able and still working toward employment. At the start of this stretch of unemployment I had decided to get employment before finding female companionship, but as time goes by I find myself see-sawing between loneliness and missing the spark a relationship gives. To start with, how blatantly should I be advertising that I’m broke?I don’t have an OKCupid account (or equivalent), but am looking at making one soon.Growing up, I knew of no other love stories than that of fairytales.I believed in and expected true, exciting love, in a modern sense, when I became old enough to experience such a thing.
I've dated wealthy men, and I've dated men with just enough to get by.Believe me, I did all I could; I started dieting, I joined a gym club, I dressed to please him and I read all I could about sex. She was younger, slimmer and was everything I wanted to be for Yomi.” Nike, an accountant lamented.But he didn’t change and it was obvious he was out to frustrate me. I am very certain that in our circle of friends, we all have a Nike.By which I mean anything more expensive than fast food, which I’m not about to subject a woman to on a date.When I’m by myself I can keep entertained by replaying old video games, reading classical literature from the library (The Divine Comedy feels sadly familiar), or rewatching Initial D, but I don’t really have ideas for cheap/free dates that won’t get me laughed at or fled from.