What we forget is that even if a person hasn’t just exited a relationship, aside from knowing our own boundaries (which can rule out certain things that we’ve already made a decision on in advance of), we cannot get all of the answers upfront or have someone tell us what ‘the ending’ will be.
Each situation is different but what you can say with a high degree of certainty is that someone who’s just fallen out of their marriage, who’s still in reconciliation negotiations, who’s still very influenced by their spouse, and who has been separated for a long time ‘just because’, is going to bring pain into your life.
The reasons that married men have affairs are well documented: apathy, boredom, revenge, lust, excitement, etc.
But what a lot of people don't ask is why on earth a woman would want to knowingly get herself involved up with a coupled-up man.
We - men as well as women - have more freedom, opportunity, and technology to enable us to have affairs than ever before.
Ever since the loosened sexual morality of the Sixties, when sex was more openly taking place outside marriage, we've been chipping away at the conventions of marriage.
Our manufactured outrage and new-found moralism obscures the fact that to a lot of women, an affair seems like quite a sensible proposition.
Look at the cultural crap-storm has bred this perfect atmosphere for adultery.
Raising your awareness means being clear on the facts of your relationship.
I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.
We’re often scared (even if nothing has actually happened yet with a particular person) that we may be letting our last chance or even best chance saloon slip away.
Here are some of the basics to help you get clearer on his situation…
And ultimately help you get clearer insight on whether or not this is a relationship where you want to go into deeper levels of commitment.