Couples waste years trying to change each other’s mind, but this can’t always be done, because many of their disagreements are rooted in fundamental differences of opinion, personality, or values.
And while I can’t imagine being with my Cuba date “for real”—I mean, he’s a low-key homeless anarchist who once took me on date to his Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting; there are red flags—I still value our relationship immensely.
So how do people in healthy relationships deal with issues that can’t be resolved? These couples understand that problems are an inevitable part of any long-term relationship, in the same way chronic physical difficulties are inevitable as we grow older and wiser.
These problems are like a weak knee or a bad back – we may not want these problems, but we’re able to cope with them, to avoid situations that irritate them, and to develop strategies that help us deal with them.
Relationships can be one of the most pleasurable things on the planet… ” All this worrying about our relationships can make us feel pretty alone.
but they can also be a breeding ground for anxious thoughts and feelings. It can lead us to create distance between ourselves and our partner.