Of course, we had family from out of town clamoring to know when they could come and stay and meet the baby.And lots of these folks wanted to meet that sweet little baby ASAP. If you’re breastfeeding, and if it’s a new experience, you do not – I repeat, do not – want an audience while you’re figuring it out.To try to make everyone happy and avoid family conflict, my husband and I decided to let the chips fall where they may, despite repeatedly making it clear that we’d really appreciate a little space. Also, if you’re bashful like me and you have people in your home, you’ll be stuck alone in the back room any time the kid needs to eat. Every time the little one was hungry, I trudged to the nursery and closed myself off from the rest of the house — sometimes for hours (our baby took a quite a while to eat in the beginning).4. There were times when I would almost let loose on my husband for looking at me the wrong way, or want to cry because I was sure my baby hated me.But it seems like space was definitely not in the cards. But with outsiders around, I stuffed it all down, which made things even more stressful.5. Babies enter the world in one of two ways, so you’ve either got a painful incision on your stomach or your undercarriage is all torn up.So if you’re struggling with the same problem, let me talk you into sticking to your guns, with a few reasons why you’ll hate having out of town visitors with your newborn.1. Sure, everyone says that they want to come help with the baby, but that’s not what you’ll need. And it was stressful to not have the time or ability to host people well because I needed to spend time with the kiddo. While you’re helping your newborn make the transition into the outside world, it’s nearly impossible to accommodate any other schedules.Your baby will need you to be feeding it and rocking it to sleep. When normally I would have the house clean, great food and drinks, and be plenty perky for my guests, it was all I could do to squeeze in a daily shower and brush my own teeth before caring for the little one.7. Thanks Aunt Mary, but we put babies to sleep on their backs these days.8. Nap time for baby should equal nap time (or at least quiet time) for you, right? Until we’d put the baby down for a nap and our guests would expect to have “grownup time.” At that point, I didn’t want to sit and chat. We had one well-meaning guest try to schedule a dinner out with us, and she couldn’t quite understand why we weren’t able to give her a specific time. So unless your family and friends are the drop-off-a-casserole-and-say-hello-for-10-minutes-then-scram type, you might want to rethink the decision to welcome long term guests while you’re getting used to your baby.
But this message of shame and guilt has followed me for almost twelve years now.) So as I have sat in the waiting room on a different couch, this therapist has been getting to know my son.For more than two months, she has been sitting on bean bags with him and asking him questions about his life.What I am sure she will say is that I am too soft, too enabling, and too mothering.I am confident she will question how we educate, medicate, and communicate with him.